Long time, no read, huh?
I know it’s been a while since my most recent post and you may be wondering where I’ve been. Here’s just a quick update before we get into the nitty-gritty.
I was able to launch Eternal Agape and share tips on how to set Godly Goals during my winter break back in Arkansas. Being back home was everything I needed before coming back to school for my last semester of college. I was able to spend some much need time with family, get a break from the distractions I often face on campus and sleep. A lot.
I also did anecessary deep dive into my relationship with Our Father. I was able to hear Him clear as day through the devotionals I was studying, and the time spent at my home church, Revival Center COGIC.
Without the typical everyday distraction, it was so easy for me to spend quality time with God and devote those first days of 2019 to seeking Him. In that time, I made the declaration that this year I was going to give Him complete control of two of the most valuable things to me: my time and control.
I was so excited to come back to school and put my new declaration to practice and make time. I knew it would be necessary not only for my personal growth in God this year but for Eternal Agape to fulfill its purpose of sharing His love as well.
But God can be so funny in how He stretches our faith.
I know most of you have heard someone tell you, “be careful what you ask for.” But has anyone said to you, “be careful what you pray for”?
It seemed as if as soon as I stepped on back on campus, life hit me with every possible distraction and circumstance in the book.
Over the last three months, I’ve been attending meetings, registering for classes, applying to graduate in May, cheering at basketball games and catching up with friends and mentees. I started a new internship, celebrated a birthday and even traveled to Ghana (will post about that trip soon!) Long story short, I was getting back into my typical routine of continually being on the go.
Finding quality time to spend with my Father, and even myself, felt like a truly impossible task.
As each day passed from my last post and my last time being still to hear His voice, I began to listen to a different voice in my head telling me all the things I was already feeling inside.
“You have way too much stuff to do today. You’ll never be able to spend time with God.”
“Eternal Agape was a mistake. You’ll never be able to commit to it. You should’ve known better.”
“Another day, another time you’ve let Him down. Why do you even bother trying to have a deeper relationship with Him. You’re never consistent enough.”
News flash buddies!
One way the enemy carries out his plans is through the lies he disguises as our own thoughts.
In different situations, you may often hear an inner voice letting you know when you’ve done wrong. God sent the Holy Ghost to convict our hearts when we stray from His will. But if you’re anything like me, getting too much into your own head can almost drive you to the point of letting conviction from the Holy Ghost be twisted into condemnation from the enemy.
With each passing day, I was allowing the shame and disappointment I felt inside keep me from fulfilling my purpose through Eternal Agape.
But there is hope in this struggle!
Whenever we enter into His presence, there are nolies of condemnation. There is only His great kindness, forgiveness, and love.
Romans 8:1-2 tells us “Therefore there is no condemnation [no guilty verdict or punishment] for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life [which is] in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.”
So many times, I heard this scripture growing up and never actually knew what condemnation was. So many times, I’d beat myself up or be so hard on myself for falling short in this walk. But having the realization that those thoughts are lies from the enemy, helps me to catch them when they come into mind and release them that much easier.
So buddies, as I began to share more of what God has for us in this year through Eternal Agape, I want to leave you with this: No one is free from falling short in this faith walk.
God specifically designed our minds and our hearts to think and feel as free as we want. He created us that way to help us understand how powerful His love for us is. God loves us so much that every single day we have the choice in what and whom we devote our time, energy, and love to. It wouldn’t be love if we had no say in who give it to and how we show it.
As much as He wants all of our mind, heart, soul, time, and energy, we still have the freedom to do as we please. In giving us that freedom, He knew that we would be always be faced with a multitude of things in our lives that would still pull for our attention no matter how much we try to make time.
But one of the most amazing things about our Father is when we make the choice to pursue, He never turns away from us. When we forget Him, He doesn’t stop wanting us. When we have pulled away from Him, He doesn’t stop thinking of us. He doesn’t stop loving us.
His love for us is so intentional and so unconditional. When we make even the slightest turn towards Him, He will help us turn even more.