So What Happened??
Hey, buds! Welcome to Live Loved, formally known as Eternal Agape. I’m pretty sure you may be wondering exactly what happened to the blog and why the changes. You also might be wondering where I’ve been over the past year since I’ve done an actual blog post. So I kind of wanted to explain a little bit of what happened. So lets get into it.
In early May of this year, I saw a notification about job openings for writers on a Christian blog. Seeing this, I thought to myself that maybe this opportunity would motivate me to get back into writing. Aside from different journaling things, I had yet to actually post anything on Eternal Agape for months at this point.
After moving to NJ, teaching full time and trying to adjust to life on my own, I became super consumed in what was happening around me. Though I was learning how to make time with God and my relationship with Him, I let the blog kind of sit where it was.
In the start of me challenging myself to 40 days of intentional time with Him, I fell off and felt shame about it. Days turned into weeks, and before I knew it those weeks turned into months of inactivity. By this point, I was feeling super unmotivated and basically running from my computer whenever I though about my own blog. But I thought that maybe this would help me get back into the swing of things.
So, I go onto the site and begin to click through the application to see the type of questions they require to be a contributor.
The application is asking questions like “how are you active in your church,” “what do you think about new theology” “do you meditate day and night on the word?” I wasn’t even a quarter of the way through the app before I clicked out of it.
I stared at my phone. I felt like a fraud.
Here I am with a blog about faith, believing in God’s word, and living in His unconditional love. However, I am not a member of any church (besides Bedside COGIC), have an inconsistent study and prayer life, and don’t have the slightest idea on what new theology is.
I felt utterly defeated. And this drove me even further away from what I felt like I was led to do.
But this moment of defeat led me to reflection. I started to evaluate my intentions with the blog and why I even wanted to do it in the first place.
In the beginning, I had the hopes of creating a transparent platform detailing my continual growth and development in Christ. No filter, no façade. But the truth. All of it. But after months of inactivity and a lack of consistency, I gave up. I let the craziness of this past year (I’ll get into that, trust) and the work God was doing on the inside of me through that keep me from being open and honest. I felt ashamed.
I also think my want for instant success through likes, and the validation of a big following had me beside myself. Initially, my only desire was for God to get the glory out of me sharing with you. So, I wanted to get back to that place.
I was studying a devotional around this time, and one of the days was based on the scripture 1 Corinthians 2:1-5.
“You’ll remember, friends, that when I first came to you to let you in on God’s masterstroke, I didn’t try to impress you with polished speeches and the latest philosophy. I deliberately kept it plain and simple: first Jesus and who he is; then Jesus and what he did—Jesus crucified.
I was unsure of how to go about this, and felt totally inadequate—I was scared to death if you want the truth of it—and so nothing I said could have impressed you or anyone else.
But the Message came through anyway. God’s Spirit and God’s power did it, which made it clear that your life of faith is a response to God’s power, not to some fancy mental or emotional footwork by me or anyone else.”1 Corinthians 2:1-5 MSG
Reading this felt like I had written the scriptures myself instead of the Apostle Paul.
Even now, as I am typing this, I know that I am nowhere near qualified to teach you about God’s love. I am no pastor or missionary. I have no degree in theology or divinity. I have yet to commit to a church home. I don’t have all the knowledge, the language, or the lifestyle to show you how to walk in purpose perfectly. Yet here I am, still professing that God can use me as His vessel to share His love for you and me.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Why would God give an unqualified, underprepared, inconsistent individual a vision to share this message on a sharable platform? He wants to show you, just like He is showing me every day, that He can still use even the most fickle and imperfect of us to carry out His plans.
My time in reflection also made me stop and think of the type of Father we have.
The basis of this blog is about learning to Live in His Unconditional Love. I know that love is a verb, it takes action. And for a majority of my life (I’m still unlearning), I thought that the love God has for me was based on my actions. That if I studied more, spent more time, prayed right I would then be worthy of His love. But He doesn’t opperate that way, and He never has.
I’m beginning to understand that God doesn’t ask us to do these things to earn His love, for His love isn’t earned. It’s freely given to us. He loved you and me before we were even a thought, before this whole universe was created. Nothing we do, or don’t do rather, can separate us from His love.
But He asks those things of us (praying, seeking His face, living for Him) so that we can learn to love Him more! The more we do things to strengthen our relationship with Him, the more we learn about Him and learn how awesome He is! And with consistency, like any relationship, you grown more in love with who our Father is!
So, to make this very long story, a short one, I’m back! And this time, here to stay and here to share. Continue to pray for me as I pray that He moves and speaks through me to share what He would have for me to share.
And about the rebrand. I felt like “Eternal Agape” was a little too lofty and airy for what I want to share moving forward. Though the name has changed, the value and purpose are still the same. Strip away all the pomp and circumstance that many people associate with faith and make this walk with Jesus as transparent and straightforward as it was created to be. Everyday striving to live in His unconditional, unchanging love. Growing and developing deeper in relationship with our Father, who wants us to experience and enjoy the love He has for us. Let’s grow and develop in His love together family!